Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

time for a bit of action...

This is a bit 'last minute', I know, but I only got it a few minutes ago, so I thought I'd pass this on to you guys as well. So get amongst it, dudes and dudettes !!!
Wed 1 June 2005 - Biggest world email protest against Bush

Today Amnesty International lashed out at US President George W Bush for making the global situation worse by condoning torture and the suppression of human rights in the 'war on terror'.

'The US administration's attempts to dilute the absolute ban on torture through new policies and quasi-management speak such as "environmental manipulation", "stress positions", and "sensory manipulation" was one of the most damaging assaults on global values,' said AI Secretary General Irene Khan.

Be part of a
coordinated effort to remove Bush. Hit the media and politicians hard. Try it ! This will be the world's biggest protest against Bush. All of us will speak with 'ONE VERY LOUD VOICE' via millions of emails to all American media news desks and politicians on Wed 1 June 2005. I've already contacted hundreds of activist organisations across the world but need your help NOW !!!

Email everyone you know asking them to email everyone they know (blind copy them if you like and aim for local and overseas people).

Your email tells everyone to contact media and politicians on Wed 1 June 2005 requesting that Bush (a) Face charges of war crimes, (b) Be thoroughly investigated for conflict of interest and abuse of position with personal financial interests in Middle East pipelines and military equipment manufacturers.

For Wed, 1 June 2005, email addresses of hundreds of American
media news desks and politicians are listed at

You can also sign an on-line petition to impeach George Bush at

You have support: in a poll of 22,000 people across 21 countries, 58% expected Bush to have a negative impact on peace and security, only 26% considered him a
positive force, and dislike of Bush is translating into dislike of Americans in general.

"One little person giving all her time to peace, can make news. Many people, giving some of their time, can make history." Peace Pilgrim

Monday, May 30, 2005

Unitarian Jihad issues phatwa...

The following is the text of a phatwa issued against the US by an American terrorist organisation called the Unitarian Jihad:
Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States. We are the Unitarian Jihad. There is only one God, unless there is more than one God. The vote of our God subcommittee is 10-8 in favor of one God, with two abstentions. Brother Flaming Sword of Moderation noted the possibility of there being no God at all, and his objection was noted with love by the secretary.

Greetings to the Imprisoned Citizens of the United States! Too long has your attention been waylaid by the bright baubles of extremist thought. Too long have fundamentalist yahoos of all religions (except Buddhism -- 14-5 vote, no abstentions, fundamentalism subcommittee) made your head hurt. Too long have you been buffeted by angry people who think that God talks to them. You have a right to your moderation! You have the power to be calm! We will use the IED of truth to explode the SUV of dogmatic expression!

People of the United States, why is everyone yelling at you??? Whatever happened to ... you know, everything? Why is the news dominated by nutballs saying that the Ten Commandments have to be tattooed inside the eyelids of every American, or that Allah has told them to kill Americans in order to rid the world of Satan, or that Yahweh has instructed them to go live wherever they feel like, or that Shiva thinks bombing mosques is a great idea? Sister Immaculate Dagger of Peace notes for the record that we mean no disrespect to Jews, Muslims, Christians or Hindus. Referred back to the committee of the whole for further discussion.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We are everywhere. We have not been born again, nor have we sworn a blood oath. We do not think that God cares what we read, what we eat or whom we sleep with. Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity notes for the record that he does not have a moral code but is nevertheless a good person, and Unexalted Leader Garrote of Forgiveness stipulates that Brother Neutron Bomb of Serenity is a good person, and this is to be reflected in the minutes.

Beware! Unless you people shut up and begin acting like grown-ups with brains enough to understand the difference between political belief and personal faith, the Unitarian Jihad will begin a series of terrorist-like actions. We will take over television studios, kidnap so-called commentators and broadcast calm, well-reasoned discussions of the issues of the day. We will not try for "balance" by hiring fruitcakes; we will try for balance by hiring non-ideologues who have carefully thought through the issues.

We are Unitarian Jihad. We will appear in public places and require people to shake hands with each other. (Sister Hand Grenade of Love suggested that we institute a terror regime of mandatory hugging, but her motion was not formally introduced because of lack of a quorum.) We will require all lobbyists, spokesmen and campaign managers to dress like trout in public. Televangelists will be forced to take jobs as Xerox repair specialists. Demagogues of all stripes will be required to read Proust out loud in prisons.

We are Unitarian Jihad, and our motto is: "Sincerity is not enough." We have heard from enough sincere people to last a lifetime already. Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true. Just because your motives are pure doesn't mean you are not doing harm. Get a dog, or comfort someone in a nursing home, or just feed the birds in the park. Play basketball. Lighten up. The world is not out to get you, except in the sense that the world is out to get everyone.

Brother Gatling Gun of Patience notes that he's pretty sure the world is out to get him because everyone laughs when he says he is a Unitarian. There were murmurs of assent around the room, and someone suggested that we buy some Congress members and really stick it to the Baptists. But this was deemed against Revolutionary Principles, and Brother Gatling Gun of Patience was remanded to the Sunday Flowers and Banners committee.

People of the United States! We are Unitarian Jihad! We can strike without warning. Pockets of reasonableness and harmony will appear as if from nowhere! Nice people will run the government again! There will be coffee and cookies in the Gandhi Room after the revolution.

Source: Candleboy

democracy and political violence...

I'm all for democracy. As a pacifist, I do not condone violence as a way of effecting political, economic, or social change. I also believe in non-violent resistance. I recently asked Douglas some questions about Communism and the justification for the use of violence in "the struggle". I believe my comments there are worth reading before we proceed here.

After the exchange with Douglas, I've been thinking about the violence thing quite a bit. And I've come to realise the following:

1. If one is commited to peaceful/democratic means for effecting change, one would seek to educate (convince, persuade, inform, teach) "the masses" in order to effect change. If one chooses this path, one generally understands that authoritarian, violent, abusive methods are counter-productive to the peaceful/democratic process.

2. Those opting for violence as a means for effecting change fall into two groups:

(i) They have not got the numbers for non-violent change to be effective and successful. They are not concerned about the wishes of the majority. They are authoritarians who "know what's best" and are prepared to impose it on the whole community at great human cost to that community if it chooses to resist violence with violence. Once such a minority gets to power, it must maintain a totalitarian regime in order to stay in power.

(ii) They have the numbers but are too belligerent, ignorant, paranoid, inexperienced or undisciplined to know how to effect successful change in an non-violent way. Again, the result is very costly in human terms - and in this case, virtually unnecessary. Due to their ignorance and paranoia, such people tend to condone and in fact prefer authoritarian regimes.

Previous rants on related topics can be found here: [ 1 ] .. [ 2 ] .. [ 3 ] .. [ 4 ] .. [ 5 ]
[ 6 ] .. [ 7 ] .. [ 8 ]

Friday, May 27, 2005

have you ever wondered...

Why There Are Suicide Bombers
Are suicide bombers similar to others who commit suicide? Do they derive their motivations from the same sources? An essay by Mark Biskeborn

Disclaimer: Whilst I am at times given to having thoughts about suicide due to my suffering from chronic depression, I am also a committed pacifist who has sworn never to harm another human being for any reason whatsoever. (So all you spooks can now relax again, ok?)

a nation rocked to sleep - a poem for Casey Sheehan...

Each and every Sunday since February 15th 2004, this memorial is set up on the sand just north of the pier at Santa Monica Beach. The local chapter of Veterans for Peace and other volunteers erect this memorial as a way to acknowledge the costs and consequences of the addiction to war as an instrument of international policy. Similar to the Vietnam Memorial Wall in Washington D.C., a "wall," now about 45 feet in length, identifies all the fallen American military personnel since the U.S. invaded and occupied Iraq to the present day.
Please visit the site via the link provided above. There's also a poem there written by Casey Sheehan's sister, Carly.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

an email from Casey's mom...

You'll recall the tribute to Casey Sheehan. Well, today I received a very touching "thank you" email from his mom for publishing her very fine speech on this blog. This touched me very deeply and I really wanted to respond but sadly I can't reply because there is a problem with her email address and it keeps bouncing my email back at me undelivered.

So, on the off-chance that Cindy is reading this, I'd like to say this:
I feel humbled and honoured to have received your email. I admire you for your strength and the courageous activism it has given rise to.

My heart goes out to you and your family, Cindy.

Peace and Love,

Of course the inspiration for the original post came via a link DS sent me so 50% of the thanks goes to you, DS.

If you want to know more about Cindy's activism, this article will interest you.

Monday, May 23, 2005

about my depressive rants...

And there have been a few.

Should I have posted them? Is there any point to such posts other than self-pity and attention seeking?

And upon reading them how are people supposed to respond?
- ignore them and only respond to other posts instead?
- tell me to cheer up?
- tell me to pull myself together?
- share your own stories of woe?
- share your own stories of recovery?
- play counsellor and reflect back what I'm saying?
- tell me a joke?
- recommend alcoholic drinks?
- distract me with arguments about other things?
- say hello in passing and hope I'm feeling better soon?
- make soothing noises?
- make clucking noises?
- make no noise whatsoever and just read without comment?
- send money?

All flippancy aside, I don't know whether it is in the spirit of blogging to post such pathetic outpourings. Perhaps I should not upset or sicken the reader. I know that it makes people uncomfortable and concerned. I know that they feel at a loss as to how to respond. So perhaps it's best to keep these kinds of rants to myself. I don't know. I'm in two minds.

I'll throw it open for discussion.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

the rats are feeding on my brain again...

I must be an idiot. Everyone else would figure out their predicament and fix it. Not me though. I was going to say "not I" but that sounded just too damn grammatically korrekt so I deliberately typed "not me". You wanted to know this didn't you? Yes, I thought so. That's why you're here...

Why am I here? Fucked if I know. I'm depressed again. There are so many things you can't really talk about in a public blog. Like the conversation I just had with my partner. I can't tell you about that. It wouldn't be right. So already you're outside of the context matrix.

Medication. I'm talking about the mind-altering anti-depressants. I won't take any. I don't trust the doctors and I trust the drug companies even less. Paranoid? Well, that's what one of those bright sparks has diagnosed me as. He might have been right.

I'm sick of life. I don't deserve to live. I don't know what to do with my life - literally. I don't deserve any sympathy or consideration. I'm a waste of space. A waste for resources. A waste of oxygen as they say. I get a veterans pension. That's tax payers' money. I'm not worth it. That money should go to someone who wants to live and is willing to do something with their life. Life is sacred. What a load of shit. There are so many people who die even though they really want to live. If I could give my life to one of them, I gladly would. But whilst it's supposedly my life, I cannot give it away to anyone who could make better use of it.

I've either ditched or alienated every friend I ever had. "I have no need for friendship, friendship causes pain..." (apologies to Simon and Garfunkel) I have no friends now except my partner. She loves me. Do I love her? Yeah, I do. And then, at times like this I think that if I loved her I'd get out of her life. I must be a toxic influence. She doesn't think so. I think I'm a pathetic wanker. But do I do something about that? No.

I've tried years of counselling. It made no difference. You know the old joke: "but you've got to want to get better." Hahahahahahahahaha... "Helloooooooooo... I'm here because I have depression. Depression often manifests as a feeling of apathy. And you're telling me I must want to get better? Yeah, right!" So shoot me, see if I care... anyway, I gave up the counselling. It was just more of the tax payers' money going down the drain. I already felt guilty enough.

Every now and then some genius loaded up with good intentions suggests I should try Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT). Well, I know all about that stuff. I even delivered something almost identical to that once under a guise I used to call "Personal Effectiveness Training". It works fine if you're not a guy who's given up and is suffering from "failure fatigue". I hover on the edge of suicide like a hang-glider hovers over the edge of a cliff.

But I'm too gutless to actually do it. Oh I have a couple of methods I've decided I'd use but when it comes to hard action, it's all too hard. I came close once though. But I felt that before I did it I had to go and visit my mother's grave because I'd never been there since the day she was buried in 1963. The trouble was it took me two days to ride the motorbike down to where she was buried and after I had a cathartic "conversation" with her at the graveside I went back to the motel and got out the plastic bag and the adhesive tape. I wrote the suicide note and the instructions for the police. I put a chair close to the door (so you would see it as soon as you opened the door) with a sign with large letters which said "KEEP OUT - SUICIDE" so that the hapless motel person checking the room would be spared the trauma. Then I tried to get up the courage to do the final deed, but I could not. Once again I was a failure. I never felt so lonely and lost in all my life. I went and got a bottle of bourbon, cried lots of tears of self-pity and drank myself into a stupor till I fell asleep. Next morning I checked out and rode back home. My partner had believed the lie I had told her before I went, namely that I had to get away for a few days to clear my head. About a week later I told her the truth. Some might argue that I should never have told her. I don't know. Whatever I do, it's always wrong. Pathetic, aren't I?

Shrinks. I should go to them? Did you know that shrinks have one of the highest suicide rates? Even higher than fucked-in-the-head veterans? And they're going to help me? Yeah, right! Not once have I found a counsellor who I thought really understood anything I was telling them. They have no idea what it's like. None. Zero. Zip.

And the thing with feeling suicidal is that you can't really tell anyone because of the law. If you tell someone that you want to kill yourself, the authorites can lock you up in a psych ward against your will and do whatever they want with you. Once they've committed you "for your own protection" you lose all rights to refuse treatment. You have no say in what medication or treatment you will be subjected to. So they can use you as a guinea pig for whatever treatment they're experimenting with that week.

Read some books on this topic. There are heaps of them. Horror stories. There are people who were admitted under such conditions and never got let out again for years. Time and again the facts emerge that most of the symptoms for which they were kept in there were in fact caused by the side effects of the drug cocktails (or other "treatments") the psychopaths running such institutions were subjecting them to, and that the original depressive episode may well have run its course in a matter of days or weeks had those bastards not administered their "treatment".

Some years ago I was told by an acquaintance who works as a nurse in one of those institutions that no-one is subjected to electro-convulsive therapy (ECT) anymore. She assured me emphatically that I was wrong in my belief that they did. Well, some months later I read that it was still widely practiced and since then this has been reiterated in the media regularly. So who can you trust when even those within the profession blatantly bullshit unblinkingly to your face? I have since realised that she is a dope-dependent psychopath who despises mentally ill people. And she works with them. Her husband, who is a shrink, once told me that he only does it for the money (if he was joking, he didn't let on). And the system is not geared to detect the likes of them, be they nurses or shrinks. Be afraid. Be very afraid. The psychopaths are running the asylum.

I've got shitloads of stuff I could rant about, but for now I've said enough. It's 1.20am and I'm feeling sleepy enough to try going to bed now.


Wednesday, May 18, 2005

more good news arrived at 4.19am...

That's the time GreenSmile posted a comment on an earlier post. The information provided was so good I thought it deserved a whole new post all of its own, so here it is:

General Electric, the world's largest company by market value, has decided to go seriously green. And I mean seriously green.

This can only be good. Some will argue that GE may not be too serious about it, that they will just go through the motions, but I think that would be missing the real importance of GE's stated commitments and plans. These will soon translate into GE claiming all sorts of green credentials. These credentials will become linked with GE's brand identity. Once this happens, GE cannot afford to have too much bad publicity with regard to its green-ness and this will give environmental watchdogs huge power in keeping GE honest, accountable and compliant. These are all good things.

Of course they're still just doing it for the profit motive and so they'll still need to be hounded and policed about their other global social responsibilities so there's still along way to go. But this is an encouraging step in the right direction.

And another thing: Because GE is so big it sets a huge example and it's competitors will be under huge pressure to clean their act up as well. Yes, this is a good thing.

Recantation: I don't know what got into me. Perhaps it was optimistic delusion, a momentary lapse of reason. So desperate was I to find something good about the corporate world that this article snuck in under my skeptic's radar. I had momentarily become blinded by belief.

I promise it won't happen again. And if it does it will only be because of my early childhood brainwashing experiences at the hands of a religion which sought to program me to be a blind believer, nay, a bigot who throws reason to the wind.

But my recantation would not be complete without an admission of the particulars of my act of heresy: I was guilty of forgetting that the corporation has one purpose, and one purpose only, enshrined in corporate law, and that is to generate as much money as possible for its shareholders. I was also guilty of forgetting that a corporation must not perform any charitable acts, or acts of benevolence, or acts of social responsibility, unless these can be shown to ultimately result in more money for the shareholders. Furthermore, I had forgotten that corporations now have the protection of the World Trade Organisation (WTO) which has such vast powers that it now actually crafts the legislation of nations, imposing on them the protections and exemptions necessary for the corporations to make as much money as possible for their shareholders.

Forgive me, readers, for I have sinned...

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

the executioner's thong...

A collection of rough draft essays, sayings and sermonizing generally oblivious to particular persons and current events. My hope is to arrive, by way of illustration, at concise statements of value or "what's important" with broadest possible appeal to liberal and educated minds. Your comments would ease the task.
I love this blog.

australian opinion...

Fellow Blue Mountains Blogger, Ron of Mountain Murmurs fame, has started a blewsgroup (a cross between a blog and a you-must-register-to-play newsgroup thingie) called Australian Opinion. I don't like the concept, but I do like the content, so I guess I'll be sandbagging it...

The title got me thinking...

What's an Australian opinion?

What's an Australian?

What's un-Australian?

Who defines what's un-Australian?

What does "jingoism" mean and what has this to do with commonly held beliefs about what it is to be Australian?

As a wannabe leftie I think of myself as an meta-nationalist; a citizen of the world; a person thinking beyond the concepts of a national identity.

So help me out with this Orstrayan thingie, dudes and dudettes, gimme yer Orstrayan opinion, furfuxake, cos I'm stuck here...

Flummoxed, in fact...

UPDATE: Ron has sold the domain name "Australian Opinion" for megabucks and has left the country. Full story here >>>

amorality and hypocrisy...

I know you'll find this hard to believe, but there are actually people out there who think they are "amoral" beings. Yes they do. They really have convinced themselves that they have "transcended" morality. Most of these people, I would venture to suggest, have yet to fully understand what is meant by the term "self-deluded fools". It leads, I think, to ideological supremacism, or intellectual arrogance i.e. a belief in one's own intellectual superiority. You might like to call it "mental racism", or "rednecks of the mind"...

"What's he on about?" Ok, let's start with a definition of "moral". I like this one from the Australian Concise Oxford Dictionary, 1988 edition:
"concerned with goodness or badness of character or disposition, or with the distinction between right and wrong;"
So, morality is all about concepts of right/wrong, good/bad, better/worse.

And now you can see what's wrong with those who have wandered off into Lalaland and have convinced themselves they are "amoral". These people would have you believe that they do not function from any value judgements. They subtly imply that value judgements are bad and wrong.

What ?!?!

Did I hear him correctly? Did he say they think value judgements are bad and wrong? Those fools! Do they not know the meaning of the word "oxymoron" and how it applies to this issue? Here are a few classics from one side of the "amoral" spectrum:

(1) To think homosexuality is bad/wrong is bad/wrong.

(2) To think abortion is bad/wrong is bad/wrong.

(3) The Catholic church's (or any other religion/philosophy/culture's) ideas of right/wrong are bad/wrong.

I think that's enough to get a good debate going but you might first like to check out this previous and related post >>>

Monday, May 16, 2005

the killing of wisdom...

DS drew my attention to this piece of wisdom:
This we know. The earth does not belong to man; man belongs to the Earth. This we know. All things are connected like blood which unites one family. All things are connected. Whatever befalls the Earth befalls the sons of the Earth. Man did not weave the web of life; he is merely a strand in it. Whatever he does to the web, he does to himself. Chief Seattle, 1853.
And that reminded me of this one, which I have on a T-shirt:
Only when the last tree has died and the last river poisoned and the last fish been caught will you discover that money can not be eaten. 19th century Cree Indian saying.

Friday, May 13, 2005

ch ch ch changes...

I think I'm going through some changes. This is a very frustrating time for me. I'm sick of who I was being. I'm sick of being verbally aggressive, confronting and insulting. It's all anger and intolerance driven stuff and I'm sick of it. Yet whilst anger and intolerance are inside me, this stuff bleeds out in my communication. It's the antithesis of nonviolent communication. I have no idea how to become non-angry or tolerant.

I've been advocating nonviolence in the areas of social and political change for some time now. At the Nonviolence Gathering I was once again reminded of the fact that if I want the world to become nonviolent, I first need to become nonviolent myself, and that this includes the need to be nonviolent in the way I communicate. This is a BIG ask. I don't know if I can make that transition.

This brings me to this blog. It's clear that if I'm serious about all of this, this blog will become quite different from what it was. The current blog description and the disclaimer would seem out of place. Most of you might puke and switch off. I notice that it's already like a ghost town around here. Perhaps a whole new blog is called for.

Any suggestions/feedback?

on stumbling and falling....

I used to be into a thousand "new age" things: The est Training. The Forum. A Course in Miracles. Buddhism, in particular Zen and Vipassana. And 996 others. But I failed them all in spectacular fashion. I could not break out of my prison of fear and self-doubt. Then, in 1995, I totally crashed, and the Vietnam war came back to haunt me big-time. Since then, thousands have said to me "pick up thy bed and walk" and I have replied "fuck off, all of you wannabe Christs, until you can walk on water!"

But all of the "wisdoms" I've eclected over the years are still, by and large, theoretically true for me , even though I cannot apply too many of them. Here's one I found today which I thought I'd share with those of you more enlightened beings who might have a small chance in hell of applying it:
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

- Marianne Williamson, A Return To Love,1992.
Of course, we agnostics and atheists will have to do something about the references to this highly debatable "God" thingie...

And another thing: There are recurrent attributions of the above quote to Nelson Mandela although, as has been pointed out to me, there is no evidence, as far as I can ascertain, which supports this.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

the department of peace...

For my American readers: If you don't back this, then bitching about the Iraq war is a bit hypocritical, I think..


big thoughts...

Ok, my little luvvlies, it's time for your daily dose of mental callisthenics. That is why you're here, isn't it?

If you ruminate on nothing else today, at least ruminate on this.


Tuesday, May 10, 2005

gerard henderson fails logic 101 - again...

Or should that read "still"? What am I on about?

Well, in today's SMH, Henderson utters this piece of seductive sophistry:
The recent successes of Bush, Blair and Howard suggest that a majority of the electorate has a better understanding of the complexity and demands of modern democratic governments than the liberal left ... That's why governments in the US, Britain, and Australia have been returned ...
Interesting line of logic, that... "My team won because the voters were smart" (and I guess the flipside of that would have been "My team lost because the voters were dumb.") That, as far as I can make out, is the crux of Henderson's blindingly illuminating logical analysis.

Now, let's take this to the next level... Since it's a shoo-in that Henderson's fanbase is made up of those exact same "smart" voters, how smart do you reckon they are if his kind of "logic" wins them over so convincingly that they hang off his every word week after tediously illogical week?

I can't be bothered, but since Henderson is gloating from the benefit of 20/20 hindsight whilst mistaking sophistry for good reasoning skills, maybe one of you other bloggers out there might like to search the archives for what Hendo said on the eve of the Iraq invasion about the reasons for Bush's oil-grabbing mass-murder of tens of thousands of suitably shocked and awed Iraqi citizens? Did Hendo dutifully peddle the WMD bullshit? Because if he did, he's about as smart as his fanbase (which should come as no surprise to those who only read his column in order to have a good giggle.)

Aw shucks... Deconstructing Henderson is like stealing candy from a kid... Real difficult...

stealing from the poor to sell to the rich?

Drought -- it's the real thing: Poor villagers in India claim that soft-drink bottling plants are causing severe water shortages. 'After Coca-Cola came here, my land has become a desert,' one farmer says.

Full Story >>>

Thirsty for more?

the earth is flat... again...

I can't sleep. Again. Depressed. Again. So here I am, again. Hopelessness. Pointlessness. And that general lack of motivation. Flatness. Emptiness. A feeling of burnt-outness. Everything's just too hard. Even blogging. And yet it also feels like self-pity. And laziness. Am I just a no-hoper? A loser? Too piss-weak to get up off my arse and kick my pathetic life into some sort of shape? Should someone just put me out of my misery? We all know I'm too gutless to do it myself.

Happy pills. Are they the answer? I keep reading about people going onto happy pills and then a few months later topping themselves or committing some kind of mass murder. It scares me.

Others seem to behave like they're on "complacency drugs". I knew this guy who was a really excellent social commentator till he went on Prozac. Since then he's been so chemically blissed-out it seems he can't see anything wrong with society anymore. It's like he had a chemical lobotomy.

I dunno...

How many times will I bore you with tales from the bottom of the depression pit? How much of this can you stand? Why do you bother?

Whatever you do, don't feel like you have to comment - I'm just ranting...

Friday, May 06, 2005

while I was away...

I attended the National Nonviolence Gathering on Queensland's Sunshine Coast. It was hosted by the Donald Groom Peace Committee, a Quaker group. I'm very glad I went. It was exactly right for where I was in my head about the subject of pacifism.

You might also like to visit the following websites:

Nonviolence Training Project

The Center for Nonviolent Communication (CNVC)

I'll say more about my experiences at (and thoughts about) the gathering in subsequent posts.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

back again...

Ok, I'm back again. I've still got things I want to say. But I'm going to try to do it differently. More on that later... After you've stopped laughing...