straighten up, fly right, and be serious...

(Stolen from elsewhere on the net and placed here for your amusement...)

After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a "gripe sheet", which conveys to the mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight that need repair or correction. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken, and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged problems as submitted by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by the maintenance engineers.

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the mechanics.)
************************************************

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
***********************************

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft
************************************

P: Something loose in cockpit
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
******************************

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
*************************

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
************************************

P Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
*******************

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
***************************************

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
****************************

P: IFF inoperative,
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
***********************************

P: Suspected crack in windshield,
S: Suspect you're right.
*********************

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
******************************************

P: Aircraft handles funny,
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
*****************************************************

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
**************************************

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
**************

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

...

internet censorship, it's starting...

The US Congress is about to pass a bill that will set the ball rolling for global internet censorship.

Whilst the petition in the above link is primarily catering for Americans, I think people from all over the globe ought to get in there and tell the US Congress what they think of their planned bill.

So... Get active... Again... Still... Forever...

please support these hunger strikers...

This is a repost of an email I've received. I urge you to join the petition.

Every once in a while (actually more often than that) we get an appeal from workers which makes you sit up and really take notice. The hunger strike now taking place at the University of Miami, in the United States, is one of those times.

Janitors, housekeepers and groundkeepers at the university have been demanding what is a simple, basic human right -- the right to join a union. Their employer is threatening them and intimidating them, and the university is refusing to lift a hand to support them in their struggle.

They are demanding that former Clinton administration official Donna Shalala, who is president of the university, intervene in the dispute and tell the company (called UNICCO) to recognize these workers' right to form a union. Shalala is stubbornly refusing.

They have gone on a liquids-only hunger strike -- both the workers and a half dozen university students. Civil rights leaders, politicians and labour leaders have rallied to their cause. The workers are laying their very lives on the line for dignity at work. Already, several have been hospitalized.

They are asking us to do two very simple things:

1. Go right now to this page --
http://www.labourstart.org/cgi-bin/solidarityforever/show_campaign.cgi?c=87
-- and send off your message to Donna Shalala.

2. Forward this email to everyone you know, especially students and others at universities. Publish it on your blogs and websites. Print it out and hang it on bulletin boards. Reproduce it in your newsletters.

Help us mobilize thousands, and then tens of thousands, to overwhelm Donna Shalala with emails of protest in the next few hours and days.

These workers must not feel that they are alone. Show them that they have the support of the entire international labour movement behind them! Participate in this protest today!

Solidarity forever!

Thank you.

Eric Lee

Works for me... Your voice DOES make a difference. Please participate. One day you, or someone you care about, may need similar support.

GET OFF YOUR ARSES AND GET ACTIVE !!!! If just this once...

Anzac Day cometh...

Gustave Gilbert, a German-speaking intelligence officer and psychologist who was granted free access by the Allies to all the prisoners held in the Nuremberg jail during the period of the Nuremberg Trails, kept a journal of his observations of the proceedings and his conversations with the prisoners, which he later published in the book Nuremberg Diary. Gilbert recorded Goering's (Nazi Reichsmarshall and Luftwaffe-Chief) observations that the common people can always be manipulated into supporting and fighting wars by their political leaders:

Gilbert: "We got around to the subject of war again and I said that, contrary to his attitude, I did not think that the common people are very thankful for leaders who bring them war and destruction."

Goering: "Why, of course, the people don't want war. Why would some poor slob on a farm want to risk his life in a war when the best that he can get out of it is to come back to his farm in one piece. Naturally, the common people don't want war; neither in Russia nor in England nor in America, nor for that matter in Germany. That is understood. But, after all, it is the leaders of the country who determine the policy and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along, whether it is a democracy or a fascist dictatorship or a Parliament or a Communist dictatorship."

Gilbert: "There is one difference. In a democracy the people have some say in the matter through their elected representatives, and in the United States only Congress can declare wars."

Goering: "Oh, that is all well and good, but, voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to danger. It works the same way in any country."

So there you have it, the full context for Goering's famous quote.

Source: Snopes

general ravings #423

My sciatica is giving me hell.

Last night my partner and I went to see "The Word's Fastest Indian" at the Mount Vic Flicks. Loved it. But by the end of the movie the sciatica pain was sending me up the wall. The problem was that we were there to see the following movie as well (Woody Allen's "Match Point"). I could not withstand another two and a quarter hours of mind-numbing agony but I did not want my partner to miss out on the movie, so I decided to "amuse" myself by going outside and walking around Mount Vic for two and a quarter hours. And believe me, that was more bearable than sitting down (or standing still).

Oh, did I tell you? I hate sciatica...

About the title of this post... Whenever you see an item in this blog titled "general ravings #nnn", you may feel free to comment on anything whatsoever, no matter how "off topic" your comment may be. Is that too authoritarian for you? Stiff titties. It's my blog.

Now... I welcome people's comments. I want people to comment. I want people to use the comments facility in this blog to discuss topics amongst themselves as well, even if I am too stupified by depression to blog or respond to comments at the time.

Thank you...

You may talk amongst yourselves now...

P.S. whilst I was wandering around Mt Vic last night, I saw a rabbit bolting down the street. On Good Friday? An Easter Bunny? Spooky...

overboard...

Children overboard.
WMDs overboard.
Timor's oil overboard.
Iraq's oil overboard.
Wheat overboard.
Sanctions overboard.
Memory overboard.
Integrity overboard.
Values overboard.
Truth overboard.
Privacy overboard.
Freedom overboard.
Two large anchors and Howard overboard!!!

heavy thinking...

It started out innocently enough.

I began to think at parties now and then -- just to loosen up.

Inevitably, though, one thought led to another, and soon I was more than just a social thinker.

I began to think alone -- "to relax," I told myself -- but I knew it wasn't true.

Thinking became more and more important to me, and finally I was thinking all the time. That was when things began to sour at home.

One evening I had turned off the TV and asked my wife about the meaning of life.

She spent that night at her mother's.

I began to think on the job.

I knew that thinking and employment don't mix, but I couldn't stop myself.

I began to avoid friends at lunchtime so I could read Thoreau and Kafka.

I would return to the office dizzied and confused, asking, "What is it exactly we are doing here?"

One day the boss called me in. He said, "Listen, I like you, and it hurts me to say this, but your thinking has become a real problem. If you don't stop thinking on the job, you'll have to find another job."

This gave me a lot to think about.

I came home early after my conversation with the boss.

"Honey," I confessed, "I've been thinking..."

"I know you've been thinking," she said, "and I want a divorce!"

"But Honey, surely it's not that serious."

"It is serious," she said, lower lip aquiver. "You think as much as College professors, and college professors don't make any money, so if you keep on thinking, we won't have any money!"

"That's a faulty syllogism," I said impatiently.

She exploded in tears of rage and frustration, but I was in no mood to deal with the emotional drama.

"I'm going to the library," I snarled as I stomped out the door.

I headed for the library, in the mood for some Nietzsche. I roared into the parking lot with NPR on the radio and ran up to the big glass doors...

They didn't open. The library was closed.

To this day, I believe that a Higher Power was looking out for me that night.

Leaning on the unfeeling glass, whimpering for Zarathustra, a poster caught my eye. "Friend, is heavy thinking ruining your life?" it asked.

You probably recognize that line.

It comes from the standard Thinker's Anonymous poster.

Which is why I am what I am today: a recovering thinker.

I never miss a TA meeting.

At each meeting we watch a non-educational video; last week it was "Porky's." Then we share experiences about how we avoided thinking since the last meeting.

I still have my job, and things are a lot better at home.

Life just seemed...easier, somehow, as soon as I stopped thinking.

I think the road to recovery is nearly complete for me.

Today, I registered to vote as a Republican...

(from an email sent to me by Susan Sandbagger)

kill communists... kill socialists... kill, kill, kill...

Why was the cold war necessary?

Why did we kill three million Vietnamese people (at least two thirds of which were innocent civillians?)

Why did Saddam Hussein's socialist regime need to be "taken out"?

Here are some clues:

“Since trade ignores national boundaries and the manufacturer insists on having the world as a market, the flag of his nation must follow him, and the doors of the nations which are closed against him must be battered down. Concessions obtaind by financiers must be safeguarded by ministers of state, even if the sovereignty of unwilling nations be outraged in the process.” [from unpublished paper in 1907, quoted in William E. Diamond, The Economic Thought of Woodrow Wilson]

“Our industries have expanded to such a point that they will burst their jackets if they cannot find a free outlet to the markets of the world . . . . Our domestic markets no longer suffice. We need foreign markets.” [1912, quoted in William Appleman Williams, The Tragedy of American Diplomacy]

operation mind control...

There was a book by this title written in 1978 about the CIA's war on the American People, pointing at sinister things which go way beyond the evil Project MKULTRA. It's a great bit of reading. ISBN 0 00 635241 3

But that's not what I'm on about here today...

Today I want to get you thinking of mind control in a different light...

If you were to kill Iraq's dissident academics, would this not be mind control? We used to read about the USSR and other repressive regimes doing this kind of shit. Well, it seems that now the Yanks, those doyens of "freedom" and "democracy", have been assassinating them by the truckload!

READ ALL ABOUT IT !!!!