Be tough!

[PLAGIARISM ALERT !!!]

Suppose that, as neurology suggests, we all create internal landscapes (or social mindmaps) in our heads based upon the external social and emotional "landscapes" which we have been exposed to. Then, we will also perceive the world differently based on the conditioning experiences we have had.

That is why it is foolishness for somebody with a totally different mind-map to turn to another and enjoin them to "just be tougher", or something. That makes no sense! You would first have to learn the other person's mind-map to determine what they should be tougher concerning, and how they might begin to go about this. Men who have had to deal with several misandrists in their lives are, assuredly, already tough, if they have managed to survive the ordeal, as well as to learn from it. Constant experience with misandry will dig deep trenches in the psychic landscape, neurological patterns of memory, which caution a person not to be caught out by the prevalent social patterns of misandry which they ar bound to encounter, ever again. To speak to such a person, who has developed this knowledge of the world, and to utter, "just be tougher," makes almost no sense at all. You, as advisor, are dealing with theoretical postulates. The person whom you are seeking to advise is dealing, already, with known knowns.

We all have internal landscapes based upon our past experiences. These help to map the territory for us of our future experiences, determining what sorts of problems or rewards we're likely to encounter in terms of our particular social and geographical environment's typical offerings. To advise another concerning their demeanour within their own particular environments is to attempt to influence a Psyche with an inner map which seeks to match an 'outer' world of physical objects and particular social effects.

To admonish someone to be "tougher" is to raise an implicit comparison between postulates of your own particular internal landscape and theirs.

Not all would-be admonishers can live up to the standards of extreme toughness which they uphold with regard to another. Most cannot, I have found. For their very sense of personal "toughness" is actually based on an absence of the degree and type of difficulties actually faced by the person whom they are admonishing.

The one that is receiving the admonishing is, often, very tough! The person who is doing the admonishing, nonetheless, is often merely successful in life.

I didn't write that. The original article was about women and misogynists. All I did was change "Women" to "Men", and "misogynists" to "misandrists". Given my "issue" with misandry, I couldn't help but notice how equally well the piece worked applying gender reversal.

My apologies to Jennifer, no offense intended. You can go read the genuine article here...