Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Thursday, June 08, 2006

on fellatio, shaving, and spades...

"Why are people so averse to waxing philosphical?" Mr Miyagi once asked The Kid...

The word philosphy, as most of us know, means "the love of wisdom". And who in their right mind would not love a bit more wisdom, eh? And what better way of fast-tracking your way to wisdom than engaging in philosophical discussion with philosophers. And who's a philosopher? Well, I am, of course, silly!

A philosopher is also someone given to quoting famous philosophers ad nauseam. Who's a famous philosopher? Well, there are so many of them that you can lend credence to almost any point of view by quoting one. For instance, there's a couple of famous philosophers called Arfur and Bwuce, and you can have a huge amount of fun quoting them.

Philosophical discussion is fun, isn't it? Aren't you getting excited already? I am! [adjusts the clothing in the vicinity of his nether regions]

So what's any of this got to do with fellatio? Well, fellatio, as some of you probably know, is the art of fellatious reasoning (also known as sophistry), and getting their reasoning skills polished is very imprortant to philosophers. Hence, when your reasoning sucks, you are said to be performing fellatio.

People with inquiring minds are to be treasured, for they shall inherit the wisdom. Pauline was one such person. She's such a famous querant that to ask the question "Please explain?" is nowadays known as "doing a Pauline". Have you done a Pauline lately? I have...

Many philosophers shave. When shaving, the use Occam's Razor is highly recommended, but you need to be a bit careful. You could cut yourself. Occam's Razor is also highly recommended when shaving others, but watch out, or you could easily cut their throat. Very messy... Blood everywhere...

Once you get comfortable with philosophical discussion, one of the first things you will notice upon entering a room where such a forum is being held, is that there are a lot of spades everywhere. Everyone in the room has brought one with them in order to show it off. And they've all given them such pretty names. Many riveting hours of discussion can be initiated by asking the question "Oooooh, that's *such* a nice spade you've got there Arfur, what's it called?"

(To be continued...)

6 Comments:

Blogger Davo said...

Philosophy is always fun .. but only if one knows if the next meal is gauranteed.

June 08, 2006 8:30 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Diogenes of Sinope lived in a terra cotta urn on Rundle Mall, threatening to bore people to death if they didn't buy him a feed, I believe... Hope things improve soon, Davo. Alexander the Great Downer will be along shortly. Don't forget to tell him to move. And give him a swift kick in the goolies from me, eh?

June 08, 2006 8:44 PM  
Blogger JahTeh said...

You might want to wander across to Daniel's blog Seeking Utopia. He likes discussions on Philosophy and other subjects open to forum. He has blog moderation though, might cramp your style.

June 09, 2006 2:05 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

JahTeh, if he's the Daniel I think he is, we rub each other up the wrong way.

I am highly suspicious of moderated blogs. Smacks of undue and secret censorship. I'd hazard a guess here and say that only total control freaks would bother with such measures. They're such insecure little darlings, these "free thinkers". I'd say that moderated blogs are havens for wankers.

Don't mistake me here, I'll delete comments which I think don't think belong here, but I let them be seen here first, however briefly. Keeps me at least a bit honest.

June 09, 2006 2:22 PM  
Blogger Daniel said...

Moderated blogs are for wankers, eh?

Glad I caught this thread, Gerry! It reveals much more about you than me.

Cheers!

June 10, 2006 7:15 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Yes, daniel, it reveals that I was spot on about you. I wrote that BEFORE I posted the comment on your blog which you promptly censored. I think you're a control-freak who can't handle it when I drive a bulldozer through some bullshit on your blog.

June 11, 2006 12:40 AM  

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