Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Saturday, May 13, 2006

a day in the life of the cryptocracy...

It's time again to rattle the chains of the NSA, CIA, FBI. ASIO and GCHQ.

There's this software thingie called ECHELON. It's old hat now and I'm sure Dubbya's Gestapo have even better software these days, but the idea is the same.

Well, here's how you attract their attention: You generate text that has as many words as their paranoid little minds can come up with. Such as:

Explosives, guns, assassination, conspiracy, primers, detonators, initiators, main charge, nuclear charges, ambush, sniping, motorcade, IRS, BATF, jtf-6, mjtf, hrt, srt, hostages, munitions, weapons, TNT, rdx, amfo, hmtd, picric acid, silver nitrite, mercury fulminate, presidential motorcade, salt peter, charcoal, sulfur, c4, composition b, amatol, petn, lead azide, lead styphante, ddnp, tetryl, nitrocellulose, nitrostarch, mines, grenades, rockets, fuses, delay mechanism, mortars, rpg7, propellants, incendiaries, incendiary device, thermite, security forces, intelligence, agencies, hrt, resistance, psyops, infiltration, assault team, defensive elements, evasion, detection, mission, communications, the football, platter charge, shaped charges, m118, claymore, body armor, charges, shrapnel, timers, timing devices, boobytraps, detcord, pmk 40, silencers, Uzi, HK-MP5, AK-47, FAL, Jatti, Skorpion MP, teflon bullets, cordite, napalm, law, Stingers, RPK, SOCIMI 821 SMG, STEN, BAR, MP40, HK-G3,FN-MAG, RPD,PzB39, Air Force One, M60, RPK74, SG530, SG540, Galil arm, Walther WA2000, HK33KE, Parker-Hale MOD. 82, AKR, Ingram MAC10, M3, L34A1, Walther MPL, AKS-74, HK-GR6, subsonic rounds, ballistic media, special forces, JFKSWC, SFOD-D! , SRT, Rewson, SAFE, Waihopai, INFOSEC, ASPIC, Information Security, SAI, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Privacy, Information Terrorism, Kenya, Terrorism Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, NAIA, SAPM, ASU, ECHELON ASTS, National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, SAO, Reno, Compsec, JICS, Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, RSP, ISS, JDF, Passwords, NAAP, DefCon V, RSO, Hackers, Encryption, ASWS, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA, S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secret Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House, Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, SALDV, PEM, resta, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet, AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, Tanzania, SAMU, COSMOS,
DATTA,

You might like to add things like "Osama bin Laden for President", or "Kill George Bush".

Anything to amuse these humourless numbnuts working for these insane institutions.

I'll see you in Gitmo...

14 Comments:

Blogger Brownie said...

ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
I will bring you a cake with a file in it.

May 13, 2006 12:45 AM  
Blogger JahTeh said...

Add tits and homos and the religious reich will get you as well.

May 13, 2006 12:59 AM  
Blogger Ron said...

They would never put you in Gitmo, Gerry, because you would be too disturbing an influence on the other 'guests': you would have them all rioting within three days. YOU would get a whole new resort just for yourself!

May 13, 2006 7:40 AM  
Blogger Davo said...

erk .. are . pens and/or pencils, legs, somehow included in this ECHELON ?

May 13, 2006 11:52 PM  
Blogger N0SuchAgent said...

KNOTTYBIT A COLUMN

" " EIGHT
T EIGHTEEN
K ELEVEN
P FIFTEEN
S FIVE
N FOUR
" " FOURTEEN
R NINE
O NINETEEN
T ONE
C SEVEN
O SEVENTEEN
E SIX
R SIXTEEN
E TEN
Y THIRTEEN
A THREE
E TWELVE
C TWENTY
O TWENTYONE
L TWENTYTWO
R TWO


if you order A Column and drag the knotty bits along for the ride, they make a string that may wake up the folks who have been opening you e-mail.

May 14, 2006 3:00 AM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Anyone decoded this last one? It's got me stumped.

May 15, 2006 6:50 PM  
Blogger Bluey said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

July 04, 2006 6:13 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Bluey, I'm no wiser. If this means anything, you'll need to spell it out for me.

July 04, 2006 6:23 PM  
Blogger Bluey said...

MSG READS:

TR NSEC “REKEY” PROTOCOL

Interpretation: Transmit/Receive National Security "Rekey" Protocol. Rekey protocol is the process by which national encryption trees are reset after dekey code equipment is compromised. Sound like I know what I'm talking about? Nope, not at all. Just 'googled' the phrase components and interpreted the findings within the context of the blogpost. Too much Tom Clancy....... Please don't 'Gitmo' me, Mr Spook, sir....

July 04, 2006 6:32 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

You're too interesting not to blog, Bluey. Come on, tell us who you REALLY are and what your blog's called. Failing that, start bloggin now.

thanks for that info, but I still don't understand how that would affect the likes of you and me. I said I was stupid...

July 04, 2006 6:44 PM  
Blogger Bluey said...

Nope, sorry no blog as yet. I just created this log-on thingy because you have blogger members only posting enabled. The trick in the above code was an old red-herring method. A Column isn't 'A' column. The clue is given by the header line. Sorting has to be done by the second column, in ascending numerical order, giving a sequence from 1 to 22, along with the associated letters. Missing numbers are spaces. Basic schoolboy coding.

I think the intended meaning is that the phraseology itself is probably supposed to be classified material. So if you can even interpret it, you already know stuff you shouldn't and thus deemable as a security risk. Echy picks it up and bang, you're a candidate for a visit from the MIB's. More likely though to be the work of a teenage conspiracy geek. If it had any validity, they wouldn't be using such a childish code.

I have only just discovered your blog and gaining great amusement and enlightenment reading through your archives. I love finding someone who uses words even I don't know. Usually the other way around. Thank you Gerry for what promises to be several hours of enjoyment. Cheers

July 04, 2006 7:06 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Well, I hope you start blogging. I think you would be an interestng read.

"Basic schoolboy coding" ??? I must be in kindegarten.

I cerainly was not going to whack that string into a search engine. Probably too paranoid. :-(

I hope you continue to enjoy reading thisblog, Bluey, but I guess most people eventually get sick of my crap and move on (as they should).

Feel free to call me on any crap you find in this blog, and ghod knows there must be a mountain of it... :-)

July 04, 2006 7:23 PM  
Blogger Bluey said...

Gerry, I was lucky enough to have a wise old Year Seven teacher. He sneakily got us school-hating kids interested in maths, english and science by teaching us about ciphers, invisible inks, hidden clues and word puzzles. We were so busy playing at James Bond wannabees that we didn't notice that we were actually learning the stuff we thought we hated. Having too much fun trying to outsmart each other.

You and I have a lot of interests and some background in common so I reckon I'll chuck you onto my regular reading list. Looking forward to hearing more of your ideas, mate. Out to you, Gerry.

July 04, 2006 7:41 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Roger. Golf Bravo out. :-)

July 04, 2006 7:55 PM  

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