Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Thursday, December 01, 2005

dai ippo zen...

I need to make you aware that I am the First Patriarch of Dai Ippo Zen.

I explain:

In the light of many past discussions with people and more recently comments on this blog and in private emails, I thought I'd get on the arrogance and conceit bandwagon and claim to have some searing insights which are denied lesser mortals.

And thus I have appointed myself to the the lofty pinnacle of a brand new Zen sect which I have called Dai Ippo Zen.

I do not claim to be enlightened or to have attained satori. I have no special insights which you cannot also obtain by staring long enough at a picture of a chimpanzee. Any picture of a chimpanzee. But it must be a picture of a chimpanzee. No other picture could possibly have the same effect. I can teach you nothing you don't already know.

Future followers of mine will make up wildly exaggerated stories of my wisdom and perspicacity, adorned with endless items of "evidence". It is the nature of the way...

May the stench of the Buddha be with you...
..

9 Comments:

Blogger Elizabeth said...

No no, Gerry, you are quite wrong. ONLY TRUE PROPHETS LIKE ME CAN CLAIM TO HAVE TO HAVE INSIGHTS.
To hear the true words of OUR LORD you must go to a TRUE prophet. Just click on my name above and you will be taken to my website and my blog and learn what is really going to happen.
Yours in Christ

December 01, 2005 9:53 PM  
Blogger JahTeh said...

I love a bear with delusions of squalor.

Do you have to argue with anonymous nits at my blog?

December 01, 2005 9:56 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Oh dear... The lighter side of blogging... What have I done now...
The imps are out and about... Anonymous needed sorting. I sorted. :-)

December 01, 2005 10:16 PM  
Blogger MuppetLord said...

Alternatively you can go the The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

December 01, 2005 10:27 PM  
Blogger JahTeh said...

Ah, so you're a sorta bear!

December 01, 2005 10:43 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

ML, Thanks for the Spaghetti Monster link. Excellent. I think that if Intelligent Design is to be taught in Science classes, then Evolution should be taught in Religious Studies classes. Quid Pro Quo.

JT, I think I do far too much sorting. I should learn to leave it to others, or better still, to realise that no sorting is needed. Maybe wisdom will find me next lifetime, in this one, I'm afraid it's a big wooshie...

December 01, 2005 11:53 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

And if I catch the cheeky bugger who did the Elizabeth blog, there'll be a spanking, JT!!!!

December 02, 2005 12:24 AM  
Blogger JahTeh said...

You mean she's not a real prophet like you.

December 02, 2005 11:51 AM  
Blogger Gerry said...

I'm no prophet. And you're a cheeky imp! Clever the way you hijacked that person's ID to create that blog. Now go and kill it before the real Elizabeth sues your pants off.

December 02, 2005 12:07 PM  

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