Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Thursday, December 23, 2004

misty mountains melancholy...

It's very misty up here in the mountains this evening. Not coping well at the moment. Feeling very bleak. Like the scene outside. My beloved is away visiting her family in Queensland. Of course I could have gone with her but I just wasn't up to socialising so I stayed behind. I don't do large gatherings very well at all. Not looking forward to the Christmas period either. Hermits generally don't. I almost don't know how to do life anymore. Nor am I trying. So shoot me.

Spent a lot of time thinking today. It occurred to me that I never did well at social skills and in the last ten years I've pretty much trashed most of those I did have. So shoot me. (That's twice I've said that. Wonder what it means.)

As Groucho Marx said "I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member."

I seem to have hit the wall with blogging. I think I've ranted myself to a standstill. I don't know where this blog will will go from here. No idea at all.

I would very much like as much feedback as possible from readers about what they liked about my blogging and what they didn't like about it. I'm up for criticism, so don't hold back. Please. I need the feedback because I no longer have any idea about what I'm doing or why I'm doing it. I realise different readers will have different responses, so all kinds of responses will be respected, and on the off-chance that I end up resenting some critique, well, hey, that would be my problem and not the reader's.

That's about it really...

16 Comments:

Blogger Link said...

Hi Gerry no solutions, just a comment to say yes - mist. I went for a late walk yesterday warm billowing swirling mist very mysterious - I saw a fox up ahead on the track, just as I was was starting freak out about Black Panthers, out on Hat Hill Rd, never get anything like it in sin city, foxes, black panthers or swirling mists. Social skills? Well I can concur there, a bloody effort trying to get along with people, easier to be a hermit. Blogging ideas, no ideas sorry. Having a break helps, Kent from dock of the bay makes lists of things to blog about for those times when nothing comes to mind - sounds like a good idea.

December 23, 2004 10:34 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Black panthers, Link? You don't believe that myth do you? Next you'll be sighting Yowies. :-)

Solutions? Ideas? I wasn't looking for any. I wanted you to tell me what things you liked about my blogging and what things you didn't like. I know that might be asking you to be more direct than you want to be, and if so, I respect that.

Thanks you for passing on that idea of Kent's about the lists. In a way I sort of do that already but often I look at my notes and what I had down for an item seems flat by the time I get back to it.

I appreciate your attempt to help, Link. Have a great Christmas.

December 23, 2004 11:22 PM  
Blogger Tony said...

Liked: It's literate, thoughtful, sincere, without pretension.

Disliked: Often petulant, heavy-handed, continuous expression of anger and relentless pessimism become monotonous and ineffective. An occasional lighter touch or hint of brightness would be welcome.

And the idea of suggestions for what to do when you can't think of anything you want to say is ridiculous: the solution is SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AND CHOP WOOD. Nothing worth while is ever written for the sake of writing something.

December 24, 2004 1:28 AM  
Blogger the urban fox said...

In the words of some cheesy Bruce Lee film (I forget which): Don't think. Feel.

Write what you're thinking or feeling at the time, that's all anyone can ask! Don't worry about direction. That's against the principle of blogging.

I've read more tales of depression on blogs lately than I have tales of festive joy. You're not alone. It's a reflective time of year. Hope you have a great Christmas season, Gerry. I've enjoyed reading your thoughts on here very much and long may it continue.

December 24, 2004 3:43 AM  
Blogger Link said...

Hard to know what to believe these days, but the imagination is a powerful thing, especially if you give in to it as you wander down lonely, misty, mountains tracks after dark that run next to 5 million acres of bush! I try not to believe most of my wild imaginings, they are 9.9/10 just that. But sometimes its fun to scare yourself! (sometimes)

December 24, 2004 5:33 AM  
Blogger Jenni said...

Kind of going along with what Fox said, I would say that what I like about your blog is that usually you are passionate or have strong feelings about whatever it is you choose to write. So blog away about anything you'd like :)

December 24, 2004 6:49 AM  
Blogger BigBob said...

Try and remember who you are writing for. If it's for you, then just do whatever it is that you like.

If it's for other's, well then you have to find out what they want within the bounds of what you are trying to say.

Also remember, you don't have to pour your heart out here everyday. If you don't feel up to it, just don't do it.

Don't become a slave to the blog. It's a tool, not you.

December 24, 2004 12:15 PM  
Blogger mquest said...

Just keep writing. The Blog should be about you and your thoughts not about what we want.

December 24, 2004 12:20 PM  
Blogger Jeff said...

Gerry... take a deep breath of that fresh air, slap yourself hard and then get back to work. Happy holidays.

December 24, 2004 3:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

If you get too hung up about blogging (as I regularly do), take a break. Forced breaks did me a load of good (go somewhere with no net access - get someone else to change your password for a week).

I've found them to be mightily useful.

And, remember the power of the reader's scrollbar. We scroll past things that bore us. No problemo.

December 25, 2004 2:24 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

that was me - kent.

December 25, 2004 2:24 AM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Tony, Link, Fox, BigBob, mquest, Jeff, Kent,

Thanks guys. Much appreciated. Bottom line is, I'll have to figure out myself. It comes back to why I'm blogging and who I'm trying to please. Hmmm...

Well, I'd like to pelase myself, but I'd also hate to lose my readers. Dilemma... But you're right, trying to just please the readers is a wank, and phony.

I bet fish don't have this problem...

December 26, 2004 7:52 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Oops, sorry Jenni, I missed out on thanking you. So,Thanks, Jenni.

December 27, 2004 9:50 AM  
Blogger bridgesitter said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

December 29, 2004 5:16 PM  
Blogger bridgesitter said...

Hi, I'm new to this blogging thing, but I found some of the things you said very interesting. The reason I say "some" was because I have not read all of your stuff. I, also am somewhat of a recluse. I avoid people I know, the phone, and don't want anyone to know who I am, except you perhaps. Though hopefully my blogspot will be somewhat anonymous. I know that so much shit has been going on that is very unsettling. The election here, Asia, I am overwhelmed just thinking about it all. But I can see you have a good sense of humor, and I enjoy reading what you write. Keep it up, there's always something to rant about. need idea's just ask me.

December 29, 2004 5:23 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Pam, I can relate to what you say. In real life I, like you, often go to the next town rather than this one, just wanting anonymity. (I don't really know what I'm afraid of). I shun people in real life, yet in blogging I welcome contact and input. I think it's because with blogging there's a "safe" distance and it's not face-to-face. In my case, they tell me it's PTSD (war) related. I don't know about yours. Being a recluse is not helpful to one's mental wellbeing, but tell that to a recluse, eh? :-) Catch-22.
I was having a bad day when I wrote this post.
About privacey, do not for a moment think there is any pricacy in this mode of interaction. The whole world has access. The regular readers who comment are only part of the story. There are "lurkers" who read but don't post comments.
My rule of thumb for blogging is, "If you don't want the whole world to be able to read it, don't write it"
Unless of course you go into Blogger settings and change them so that it's not published, and then only you can read it. But hey, why use blogger in that case.
Thanks for your comment, Pam.

December 30, 2004 1:43 AM  

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