Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Friday, August 20, 2004

the gospel according to gerry...

Hallelujah, I have seen The Light! God has spoken to me! And God said to me "He who controls the oil wins! Ever seen a 60-ton Abrams tank try to run on batteries or solar panels? Or an F-15? Or a B-52? Or a military supply convoy? Or a battle group? No? Ok! No oil - no military - no global control. Very bad for Big Business."

God has commanded us to get this oil (and any other resources we take a fancy to) by hook or by crook. Doesn't matter who owns it now, we will own it after we've installed The Right Kind of government. And God gave us the name for this kind of government, He called it Divine Democracy.

God then explained Divine Democracy to me, and He said: "Divine Democracy is where you deceive and mislead the people to vote a certain way. The idea being that when they vote in that way they won't stage uprisings because they think they've had a say in the flavour of government they got. This is also known as Mushroom Politics - Keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em on bullshit.”

And if some malcontents gag on the flavour of that government and they have the temerity to object, God commanded that they be branded as Blasphemers, or Heretics, or anti-American, or anti-Democratic, or anti-Semitic, or anti-Patriotic, or anti-Bush. And then God added: "Shooting them is good, and if they shoot back, call them 'Terrorists'."

And God told us that if the unholy dare to resist the installation of Divine Democracy, or try to tamper with it, we must kill them for daring to oppose God's People in the doing of God's Work. Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

And praise be to God for speaking to George Bush and showing him The Way! Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

And God said: "Go George! You are a real hero, George! You tha man, George!” Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

Spread the Good News! Spread the Gospel according to Gerry! Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

God commands you now to copy this and email it to George. Our brother George needs all the moral support he can get. God also commands you to email it to all your friends, who are themselves commanded by God to email it to all of their friends. And then God said "et cetera, et cetera." Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

And the last thing God said was "you shall from this day forth be known as Saint Gerry." Praise the Lord! Thank you, Jesus!

Now, where did I put my anti-delusion pills...

*Authorised by God, written by Saint Gerry of the Blue Mountains
"Offence freely given to those who wish to take it." Saint Erich the Mangomuncher.

I can email you a beautifully type-set email-friendly version if you want, personally blessed by Saint Gerry. And it's FREE. But HURRY, your request must get here before they come to take me away...

10 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Does Saint Gerry of the Blue Mountains have a halo ?

godd !

August 23, 2004 2:05 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

I'll leave comment on this to people who claim to be able to see halo's.

August 23, 2004 10:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

youre very simple minded

August 25, 2004 2:40 AM  
Blogger Gerry said...

I've tried being complex. I only got confused.

August 25, 2004 8:54 AM  
Blogger Tony said...

I say, your writing does seem to attract a very poor class of comment; I haven't seen one that is worth replying to (except mine of course).

Never mind, keep up the good work; sooner or later someone who can spell and has a brain will take up one of your points and give you a stimulating argument.

August 30, 2004 6:51 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

I'm just a blogger blogging my head off, Tony. I'm not a journalist. Not am I a politician. I'm not bothered about what responses I might elicit. I just blog. People reply how they reply. They're blogging too. At the end of the day they might like to ask themselves what it is they think they are saying. It's none of my business.

August 31, 2004 12:00 AM  
Blogger Tony said...

Don't see your problem, my solipsistic friend. If you have no interest in other people's views, just delete the comment facility.

September 18, 2004 2:59 AM  
Blogger Gerry said...

I don't know why you think I have no interest in others' comments, Tony. How was your holiday?

September 18, 2004 9:05 AM  
Blogger Tony said...

Gerry, you said: "I'm not bothered about what responses I might elicit. I just blog." Actually you said it several times. Can you blame me for thinking this meant that you're not interested in comments?
Thanks for the enquiry; holiday was ho-hum (see today's post).
All the best

September 18, 2004 9:50 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Ok, good point. And to a degree that's true. So now I'll have to make my disclaimer more specific.

From now on I shall have to say, in a Cognitive Behaviour Therapy kind of way, "Please feel free to share with me your responses to what you read here. Depending on what your response is, I may or may not be interested. Also, be aware that I am free to respond to your response in whatever way I choose." Is this better, Tony? :-)

What I'm not going to say, in a Big Business kind of way is "Your comments are important to us", or "We value your comments", when in all truth, I have absolutely no idea how much I will value your comment, or how important I will deem it, until after I've seen it. Poetry, I love it! :-)

September 19, 2004 2:56 AM  

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