Nothing in this blog can be believed. If you think that anything in this blog is true or factual, you'll need to verify it from another source. Do you understand? No? Then read it again, and repeat this process, until you understand that you cannot sue me for anything you read here. Also, having been sucked into taking part in the mass-murder of more than 3 million Vietnamese people on behalf of U.S. Big Business "interests", I'm as mad as a cut snake (and broke) so it might be a bit silly to try to sue me anyway...

Friday, January 21, 2005

queen revokes US declaration of independence...

John Cleese, Fawlty Towers. OK, are we on-frequency now? Good.

Well, Basil's tuned in to the Beeb, and this is what he's hearing:
To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today. Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories.
Read full transcript

Yeah, you guessed it - that bastard DS gave me this. :-)


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thanks for the kind words Gerry. Now figure out how the dynamic duo (that's you & me) are gonna save the rest of the world from the Great Satan because rumor has it that Reagan tried to give the US colonies back to the Queen and she turned him down flat!! Something about having enough problems with her own family - what do ya' think she meant by that?


PS I like you too.
PPS You just need a faster internet connection.

January 21, 2005 12:03 PM  
Blogger jcklsgk said...

That is brilliant. I love Fawlty Towers. And besides, most of that was spot on.


January 22, 2005 4:01 PM  
Blogger Gerry said...

On behalf of DS, thanks, Jeckles. Drop by any time.

January 22, 2005 9:47 PM  
Blogger keli said...

Er..sorry to disillusion you guys, but this story was NOT written by John Cleese. It was actually written by a guy called Alan Baxter of Rochester, U.K, in 2000 and has since spawned a zillion different versions...

here, read this footnote to a version just published on

Editorial note: This story is loosely based on a satirical letter which exists in various versions, both on and offline, which has now passed into Internet folklore. Despite claims that it was authored by British comedian John Cleese in 2000, it was apparently originally penned by Alan Baxter, from the UK, who posted a very much shorter version than ours to an internal newsgroup hosted by his employer in November 2000. The story is thought to have subsequently escaped into the wild when Peter Rieden, also from the UK., extended it and posted it to a USENET newsgroup. Thereafter, the story quickly spread far and wide, and within days newspapers in the UK were running even longer versions. Our version differs significantly from most others in circulation in not itemising the Queen's demands and in being written as a news story. So, whilst many people have undoubtedly had a hand in shaping the many variations of this humorous lampoon which now exist, John Cleese is almost certainly not one of them—unless you know different!

Full story here:

More here:

June 26, 2005 10:27 AM  
Blogger Gerry said...

Thanks for that, keli. I've fixed it

June 26, 2005 11:57 AM  

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